A Fresh Start

I feel like something is missing. I have admitted that I have been restless for the last few years. I realized when I lost Sera that there was not really anything here for me. At the time I was dating someone that I thought cared about me. Unfortunately, realizing that the person I cared about didn't care about me was a slap in the face and a punch to the gut. Since things have begun to change, it took me awhile to realize that I am in the same place right now, that I was in when I was living in Casper. I feel like a trapped bird. I want something...more. Something...different.

I feel as if I am trapped here, at least for the time being. Since I lost my furbaby, my best friend, my support; I have come to the realization that there isn't anything for me here. While I love my job, what I do, the people I work with, it is not what I want to be doing the rest of my life. My program will be done in December, and I am hoping I make it until then. I am getting burned out quickly. I am 1 class from being 2/3 of the way through the program. I only have a combined total of 6 months left or 1 semester.

As I was laying in bed unable to sleep in the early hours of Saturday morning, I realized that I need to leave. I have been leaning towards Richmond for awhile. One of my best friends lives there, I have another friend in Norfolk, a collegiate and alumnae chapter of my sorority there, and family. I hope that I will be able to find a job there. I am going to stay here for a couple of years and work hard and save money so that I can move. The deal I made with myself before I left Casper was that I would give myself 2 years and at the end of that 2 years if there is nothing for me there I would leave. There was no reason for me to stay there, and therefore no reason to go back. I am making the same deal with myself now. If there is a reason for me to stay within the 2 years, I will. Otherwise, if there is nothing for me here, I will move on.

This is something that I have been contemplating over the last few months. This weekend, things have just clicked. I have a love hate relationship with the area, just as I did with Casper. My dad was right when he said you could never go home. With as hard as the adjustment to this area was, I am just slightly hesitant to move and start over again.