Numb

Wow. The last week. I still have no words. If you've talked to me this week at all, I've been back and forth. Like most people who are grieving a loved one, I'm numb one minute and an emotional train wreck the next. One minute I feel as though I have completely depleted myself of tears. The next I am inconsolable. Sometimes I cannot even form the words to say what I want to say. In a nutshell. My best friend is gone.

I call my mother, Mushka. I have called her that since junior high. My Mushka is gone. It's very surreal for me to say that. I guess I should phrase it, my Mushka is home with the Lord in Heaven. I feel as though I am just going through the motions at this point. Once I can focus and form words, I do want to do a year of happiness and our journey of how we are getting there. For now, I'll leave with a song. We played this at my Mushka's Celebration of Life (not a funeral). While I do have sad memories associated with this song, it explains things between my Mushka and her three daughters.