Of course, I turned into the rebellious (and that is putting it lightly) teenager. I snuck out of the house, continuously broke curfew, stole the car only to wreck it on a not so rare occasion. I was engaged at 16 (biggest mistake of my life) and heartbroken by 18 (possibly the best thing that could have happened). I was feisty and scrappy and somewhat angry. I was harassed in high school to the point that I almost did not graduate. Not because I didn't have the grades (I did, I'm very intelligent), but because I ditched class. I did not want to be in the same room with people that were harassing me. I hated high school.
Figure skating was a release for me. When I was on the ice competing, testing, or even practicing my routine--I felt like it was just me on the ice (even when I had to yell out "WATCH THE CORNER!!" to get someone out of the way). The ice became the face of the person that I hated most at that current time. My blade became their punishment. When I went off to college, there was not a rink in the town I went to school in. So, my skating went to the wayside. It is still an outlet for me whether I am stressed, angry, happy, or sad. But, because there was not a rink, I have had to find other outlets (snowboarding and writing).
I calmed down a lot when I went off to college in Colorado. I joined a sorority, did work study, had 2 part time jobs that worked me full time hours, and a very demanding major (industrial chemistry). But, I became homesick and did not get to drive the 4 hours home very often, even in the summer, due to my work schedule and taking summer classes. I missed my parents, my friends, and most of all my Sera.
It is coming up on the 2 years since Sera has passed away. My constant, my best friend, my rock. Even as I typed that, I teared up. It is still hard and I still miss her and think about her every day. When I was in Colorado, my parents took care of her for me. I wasn't able to have her in the dorms or in any apartment that I lived in.
Shortly after moving to Tennessee, my father had quintuple bypass surgery. It was a bit of a shock and I wasn't able to be in Wyoming to sit with my mother. Now, I know I have a group of close friends. In fact, most of my close group of friends all know each other and are close friends as well. But, my best friend, Amanda, went to the hospital and sat with my mother and played Rummy while my father was undergoing bypass surgery. She did that so my mother did not have to be alone during that time. I know that even if I had been able to be there with my mother, she would have been right there by my side.
Now my mother has to have surgery. She's been nauseous for a couple of months now and finally went to the doctor. She has to have gallbladder surgery on Thursday. Again, I hate it that I am so far away and am unable to be there for my parents during this time. But, again, Amanda will go to the hospital to see my parents. For that I am eternally grateful. My parents mean the world to me. Both of them are my best friends and I know that I can tell them anything at anytime and they will love me regardless. They may not always agree with the decisions I make, but they have always been supportive. I do not know what I would do if something happened to either one. That isn't an avenue that I want to explore at this point in time. I know that it is gallbladder surgery, but I also work in healthcare and know that any surgery has a risk attached to it. Anything can go wrong. I am trying to be positive, so any prayers you can send my mother would be greatly appreciated.
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